A friend honestly told me that I'm not improving anymore, he even told me that he even surpass me. That I should draw more.
Am I threatened? No.
Am I enlightened? Yes.
Am I inspired? Yes.
This only proves that, I was once the person inspire him to be the artist that he is today. That I was once an obstacle that he had to go through to achieve his goals. Even though he is way better than me, I'm proud to have such friend of an artist that he is right now. As an artist, he's also well aware that those things are not healthy for an artist. I'm not jealous or anything, it's just I'm proud of him. Kudos to you dude.
Enough of that.
And now, for my own art problem thing.
I'm not improving.
Yes, I totally admit that my art-thing is not improving.
It's like I knew it long before he told me that.
But I want to address it now, so anyone who can read this.. err.. can read this
It's like I'm stuck in a trap hole, a trap hole that I think I can easily get off to.
But the problem is, I don't know either I can't or I just don't want to, at least for now.
And since last year, I always get the feeling that:
"I only have the technique, but not the inspiration and life is not there",
which also contributes to the problem that I currently have.
But where's the inspiration and life has gone?
I think, it's up to me to find out where.
Do I need to acquire new tools for me to improve?
Do I need to learn new skills?
Do I need a new inspiration, for me to get inspired?
Do I need this certain "heart wrenching" thing get out of my system?
and other "do I need~" questions that are currently running through my head right now.
But all hope is not lost, I think.
I might answer these questions on my own.
Maybe if my intuitions are correct, it should be something that is really easy for me to spot.
It might take some time, more realization and meditation.
Then everything will be back to normal, plus those promising improvements that I aspire for.
As I end this journal of mine, I will leave something. A part of the lyrics that I'm listening right now. It inspires me, and (I hope) anyone who reads this load o' crap o' mine too. Here it goes:
"I must move on and I must not give in to
This insane world. It's catching fire
round me now.
I'll rise up,
Won't stand down
To anyone's commands, live or die.
I won't break
I'm always ready for another round yeah